You Better Do or You Better Don't? Small Business Edition

I have had someone buy tons of my earrings before (I am talking over $1000 worth), with no inclination they ever wanted to start their own art business, ask me: "is your small business enough to sustain you?" Then 3 months later they decided just because they saw me making money making polymer clay earrings, they thought it would be easy money for them too. 

It started with sly comments like "you inspire me" or "where do you get your supplies?" "would you consider teaching a clay earring workshop at my work?" And I have a psychology degree, so I knew what those leading questions implied. That they wanted to copy my business model. Not because they had an existing passion for polymer clay like myself, but because they thought it would be easy money.

Then I had confirmation that they were being untrustworthy, when I saw them advertising their business on a non profit page talking about their earrings, but in their artist picture they were wearing earrings I made. This naturally would make people feel that they made it, since the entire post was about their clay earring business. I was shocked and instantly told the non profit organization that this is unacceptable. 

And oh boy, did I learn a hard lesson that day about people who just use you and have no problem screwing you over.

One thing I cannot stand is a fake person with no original ideas or passion of their own. I am aware I do not own polymer clay, but I did not know a single person in my life who knew about polymer clay or even wanted to play with it before I did. And yes, I love to inspire others but copying me just because you think you can do what I do or for monetary reasons is insulting. Because you have no clue what I do or for how long or why. And no, it isn't gatekeeping if I refuse to tell people where I get my supplies or how I do exactly what I do. This is a business at the end of the day, and my life's work, people should not take that lightly. 

If you are incapable of doing market research or looking up things on your own, what do you think will happen when you start your own business and no one is there to hand hold you through it? If you truly, genuinely, want to run a business you have to learn how to be self sufficient or your business will close down expeditiously. You have to have the dedication and will to run a successful business, and that is not something anyone can teach you. You have to learn it yourself.

Trying to turn my passion and full time job into a side hustle for yourself to pass time and make side money, is insulting to serious artists. You aren't doing it for the right reasons. And do you know what ended up happening with this person? 

When I called them out after finding out they started their own polymer clay earring business, they asked me to send them a refund for ALL the earrings they bought from me. Mic drop. They felt that if I was worried they would copy me, then they rather return my art to me. They also threatened me that if I ever told anyone about them that they would take legal action (wtf kind of exploitation is that?). 

What a slap to the face! I thought they claimed they LOVED my work! Cue eye roll. Would someone who truly loves my work ever ask a fellow small business owner for a refund of over $1000 just because they call you out? Knowing that said small business lives paycheque to paycheque and doesn't deserve to be screwed over monetarily. It was disgusting behavior that I will never forget. I of course reminded them all my earrings are final sale, they have been inside their body and it was insulting to ask for a refund when they claimed to love my work. 

I told them I have no intention of deadnaming them, and truly I NEVER will tell anyone the name of this person because I do not do things in the dark and I have no desire to doxx them. I never told ANY of our peers what this person did to me, or that this person and I ever had any kind of relationship. The truth is, I was so hurt from this that I never wanted to think about it again, I wanted to forget it. Here I thought I was gaining a consistent customer who loves my art, but nope, it was just someone who wanted to use me to start their own business. Months later they tried to apologize and asked to be friends...the audacity! Why would I ever be friends with someone I could never trust again? It was truly appalling and confusing.

If this person had an existing passion for polymer clay, and played with it for a long time before selling, I would have no qualms. But they took something I feel SO DEEPLY about and turned it into a side hustle with no passion. I found it so deeply insulting, this is my art, not a joke.

Because of this person, every time someone buys a lot of my earrings I always have this distrust...will this person also copy me? Will this person also ask for a refund when I tell them it isn't okay to push my boundaries and ask for my business model? Is this person just buying my earrings to gain my trust, pretend to be my friend and get tips from me just to start a clay business?

This is why I do not teach anyone and do not intend to anytime soon because that is my retirement plan. When I am too old for people to want to hire me, I need a backup plan and my backup plan is doing workshops and guides one day to teach people what I know. 

While I am still growing and trying to make full time money every single month, and not just few months out of the year, I have no intention to teach anyone what I do because I still am rooting for more success and stability of my own. Once I have met my goals, I will be happy to pay it forward. But for now, I need people to respect that I am a serious business owner who takes my art very seriously and if you do not possess this much love and dedication to your craft...do NOT monetize it. 

If you lack the intensity and patience required to teach yourself, you will not succeed in business. And instead of copying other peoples' dreams, I encourage you to explore this world and people around us and try different hobbies to figure out what YOUR thing is. If you try to pick up what others do, that is what you will be seeking your whole life and you will always be one step behind the person you are copying. Waiting to see what they do next because you have no idea who you are or what you want.

Do you know what happened to this person who decided to follow me? They eventually stopped making clay earrings (I assume because it was not great quality or maybe they felt bitter about our interactions) and started doing beaded earrings. Perhaps they coerced someone else with emotional guilt to teach them by claiming they are gatekeeping (which they accused me of even though I told them what platforms they could learn). I however do not owe anyone a list of where I get my supplies or exactly how I make my earrings! This is a business. Not a school. Social media has made people feel that artists are free teachers and I do not appreciate it or wish to encourage it. Youtube and Patreon exist for a reason.

Moral of the story: find your own path, explore all the ideas and don't just do what others do because you think it will work for you too. Respect artists and small business owners.

My biggest advice as a small business owner to anyone who wants their own business is: it is not glamorous or fun. You will doubt yourself and your choices constantly. You will need to spend a lot of money to invest for a thriving business. Marketing will become your full time job and if you can't be consistent on social media, you will not succeed. You will have to learn about finances and proper pricing models or else you will drown in debt and despair. You have to get comfortable with failing, a lot. You have to get comfortable with not being comfortable, like ever again. Because when you do not know how much you will make the next month, it isn't motivating, it is debilitating. If I had a full time job where my mental health was not being challenged constantly, I would not make earrings for a living, I would do it for fun which was my intention at first. Because running a small business is no easy feat and it eats away at you. 

And don't get me wrong, polymer clay kind of saved my life and my mental health and I am so grateful for all the people I have met and served. It is why I keep going and want to make this bigger (not just because I have no other job). For the first time, I felt I was good at something and that is why I take it so seriously because it is everything to me. So understand where my feelings are coming from, I do not take this lightly and I do not respect people who take this lightly. 

I hope this blog post was enlightening and eye opening, and I hope you are able to truly respect my art and what I do and how much willpower it takes every day to keep going.